People Pleasing and Safety
How did pleasing become safer than being?
I used to say yes to doing things with people just because I wanted to spend time with them. One day, I realized I was saying yes to all sorts of things I did not truly want to do—simply to feel connected.
This is how my people-pleasing part shows up sometimes.
Do you notice how your people-pleasing part shows up?
As an intern for a Compassionate Inquiry Facilitated Short Course with Dr. Luke Sniewski , I experienced a powerful insight in our meeting today.
When I am consumed by unconscious people-pleasing, I am not present enough to discern the level of safety in the relational field I’m in.
When I am blended with my people-pleasing part, I only see what I can do (or say yes to) that might lead to the connection I really want.
When I am self-aware and discerning, I am more able to connect with my body and sense—or wait for—clarity.
This is a clarity anchored in truth and true generosity: saying yes when it’s a clear yes, no when it’s a clear no, and sometimes honoring the in-between season of not knowing.
If you are curious and ready to connect more deeply with your people-pleasing parts, I can support you.
Book a complimentary call to find out how Compassionate Inquiry—a trauma-integrating somatic healing approach developed by Dr. Gabor Maté and Sat Dharam Kaur—can help you move from people-pleasing to authentic presence.
